Dealing with a diagnosis of malignant mesothelioma is a family experience and everyone involved needs all the help they can get from beginning to end. Those diagnosed as well as family members, loved ones, and caregivers are all affected. Caregivers are anyone who does anything to help care for the person diagnosed with mesothelioma. They can offer one or multiple types of support, such as physical, medical, emotional or spiritual. Support can take the form of managing a treatment plan to grocery shopping to offering psychological or spiritual guidance.

It can be quite overwhelming to receive a diagnosis of mesothelioma. For the one diagnosed as well as loved ones, there are many highs and lows and it can feel much like being on an emotional roller coaster.

Finding support for the patient as well as caregivers can make all the difference. Often anyone involved in caring for the mesothelioma patient will experience many feelings that are difficult to face alone. Shock, denial, sadness, anger and fear are common emotions that are experienced when someone has an incurable disease. The difficult emotions are not constant all the time, but rather come and go throughout the process, hopefully with moments of reprieve as well.

Sadness is often felt when the realization that years of life and future plans are cut short unexpectedly or when there is regret over the past. At some point, many will feel angry with the fact they have cancer or around the negative side effects that come with treatments. For patients with mesothelioma, anger is often felt because the disease could have been prevented had the dangers of asbestos been shared and protective measures taken by employers or manufacturers to prevent exposure. Fear is another emotion that often arises around thoughts of death and dying as well as worry over the well being of loved ones left behind.

During this time, there are some tools that can help. The tool shared here will hopefully help anyone diagnosed with mesothelioma or their loved ones to better cope. When dealing an incurable cancer, one must find ways to manage it and find places where you have some control.

You cannot change the fact that you or a loved one has mesothelioma. You cannot change the fact that there is no cure. The only thing that you really have control over is how you think and react to the situation. The practice described here can help with the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness that often come with a diagnosis of mesothelioma. It can begin a process of developing a stronger sense of compassion and meaning in your life.

Although this can be used as part of a spiritual practice, it does not need to be associated with any religious beliefs. This is often referred to as stress based reduction or mind-body or compassion exercise. The practice can be as helpful in relieving pain and suffering occasioned by treatments as the actual medical interventions and drug therapies are.

The first step in this process is to find a place and a position where you can quiet your mind and body. This can be in bed, sitting outside, in a religious setting, or anywhere you can calm your mind and body. Once you are in this place, the idea is to get as comfortable as possible and focus on remaining calm and relaxed. An easy way to do this is to think of a time or place where you were very happy or felt well loved. Or you can think of a time where you brought happiness or love to another. For some, it works better for them to think of a pet or someone whom they love very much and easily get along with.

As you remember that time, person or place, let the feelings of that memory fill your entire body. Remember all the tiny details, such as smells, the temperature, what season it was, the setting, who else was there, etc. Let all the good feelings of that memory wash over you while focusing on the ease of your breath as it comes in and out of your body without effort.

Once you have let this seep into your body, bring to mind someone who you love deeply and is easy to care for. As you hold that person in your mind’s eye, begin to send them wishes, either aloud or silently, saying, “May this person know happiness, and the root of all happiness. May they be free from suffering and the root of all suffering. May they enjoy good health, love and happiness.” You can use any words that capture what you would wish for that particular person. Perhaps you wish that they would feel comfort, be free from worry or sadness, or feel supported and cared for.

After you repeat those wishes for that particular person a few times, then turn those thoughts to yourself: “May I be free from suffering and the root of all suffering. May I be safe and well cared for.” You can use whatever words you want to wish for yourself. Notice if you feel closed off to doing this without holding judgment against yourself. No matter if you are open or closed, keep noticing what you are feeling while keeping the body and mind calm.

Once you have done this for yourself, you can think of others in your circle of support and send them wishes of well being. If you are feeling really courageous and committed, think of the more difficult people and relationships and send them good wishes as well.

Lastly, think of all the other people who are suffering from mesothelioma or another form of asbestos related cancer. Send them and their family’s wishes as well.

If you are able to do this practice for even a short time, you will begin to notice that it eases your suffering and deepens your sense of compassion. It can help to relieve feelings of bitterness, anger, blame or fear.

You can not avoid the physical, emotional or financial challenges that come with being diagnosed with mesothelioma. The one thing for sure that you can change is your reaction to and thoughts about it. The practice above can change your thoughts, thereby changing your whole experience of pain. Lots of times, the suffering is made worse by our thoughts and reactions. The thought patterns end up making the pain escalate to the point we can become debilitated. Aside from physical pain, the thoughts alone can cause despair, isolation and depression. All of these feelings increase pain and suffering. You have no control over having mesothelioma, but you do have control over what you do with it.

Another way to lessen pain and suffering is to notice any fear you may be experiencing and all the spin off thoughts and feelings from that fear. If you use the practice outlined here, you can ease the intensity of your suffering and actually free yourself, at least for brief periods of time, from the usual feelings of fear, anger, despair or sadness.

No amount of wishing will cure mesothelioma. What will help is using the diagnosis as a way to soften to ourselves and those around us instead of harden. You can use the illness as a way to access compassion so that you are more able to give love and feel peace, for yourself, for your loved ones, and for all others who may be suffering.

Every person will experience and react to mesothelioma differently. Some may not find this exercise helpful or easy to use. Nevertheless, scientific based studies have proven that people suffering from illnesses can not only reduce stressful emotions by using mind-body exercises, but they can actually decrease their suffering and improve the results of their treatments and overall quality of life. If the practice shared here doesn’t work for you, explore others until you find one that is a good fit for you.

To get more information about similar practices as the one described here, talk to your oncology nurse, palliative care specialist, or hospice worker. For further medical information regarding mesothelioma, visit the National Cancer Institute (NCI) website. To get aid and information about handling financial and legal concerns, consult with an asbestos law firm that has expertise representing mesothelioma patients. Treatment costs and loss of wages cause cancer to be an expensive illness and can create financial difficulty. An experience mesothelioma attorney will be best at giving you valuable information and helping you to get financial compensation due to asbestos exposure caused by negligence on the part of an employer or manufacturer. Financial stress can cause more suffering so knowing you can get help goes a long way towards putting the mind more at ease.

Sally Clapper is a representative for the law offices of Clapper, Patti, Schweizer & Mason in Sausalito, CA. If you or someone you know is in need of a mesothelioma lawyer, please contact the firm at 1-800-440-4262. As experts in the field of mesothelioma, the firm’s attorneys are recognized as some of the leading plaintiffs’ attorneys specializing in asbestos cases in the nation.